There's a song stuck in my head right now - "Show Me Life" by Addison Road.

I recall standing in the train, thoughts about life running through my mind. I had earphones plugged in and I was not concentrating on the song at all. I believe my thoughts were somewhat louder than the volume of the music playing.

The train stopped at one of the stations. The doors opened. People walked out. People walked in. A blind man walked out.

My attention shifted to that very able blind man and I realised that the song playing there and then....was "Show Me Life".

Show me life
Bigger than I’ve known
I wanna feel more than alive
Show me love
Beautiful and true
Change the old to new inside

(And it was blown away again when Addison Road replied my tweet about this.)

(My life is complete.)

I remember it was the start of 2010. It was a new year and I needed to move away from the dreary 2009. I wanted to do things differently and I had goals I wanted to achieve.

A chance to change.
A chance to take on a new year with different attitude.

I decided that one of the things I'd do was to count my blessings, literally. For each day, I wrote down what I felt blessed or grateful for.

Every piece of paper would be put into this jar and as the months passed, it accumulated. However, I only went as far as 4 months.

Why?

I realised that this little exercise wasn't meant to be easy. It was meant to challenge me to find something to be thankful for no matter how great or how bad the day was. I remember why I couldn't bring myself to continue this exercise after the fourth month - life had become overwhelmingly difficult. New challenges were thrown at me and I was wading through the mess. Yes, we all have difficult seasons and I guess it's during those times when we learn tough lessons that makes us stronger.

But I just couldn't bring myself to find things to be thankful for during that time. For more than a year I felt regret that I was only able to do that much and for a short period of time.

Maybe that was the reason why this jar was left unopened...until today.

It's time to get over the fact that I'm broken.
It's time to understand that I'm not perfect.
It's time to move on.

Each strip of paper recorded a moment in history. So many memories came flooding back. Some of which reminded me of really joyous moments during my last days as a student....and also the dramatic shift of events after those words were written on the strips of paper.

Bitter. Sweet. All at the same time.

But here are a few entries that really jumped out at me:

"Grateful that I have friends I can count on."
"Thankful that God stopped the world so I could talk to Him."
"Glad I'll always have a new beginning to fall back on."

=)

Many things happened during the mission trip to Cambodia - the experiences we had, the lessons we learned, etc. One thing though, we never expected that the people we met would change us so much.

Personally, I wasn't confident when it came to being with kids, especially kids who had gone through so much since young. But all that changed when I encountered the boy named Mithona.

I remember it was only the second day on my first trip (last year). I had not been introduced to any of the kids yet. It was when we came back from a trip to the nearby market and I saw this young boy standing near where our van parked. I came out of the van and he looked at me with sweet, innocent eyes. Then he extended his arms out to me, requesting for a hug. Mithona may not understand it, but that simple act changed me.

In fact, many of the kids who touched our lives, don't know the impact they had on us.

These kids have gone through so much, but they never cease to show love to each other.

These kids amaze me. They don't care who you are, they just want you to know how much you mean to them, even if it's through a simple smile.

Love is present in Cambodia.

These kids are proof of it.

Meet Bernard and Zhe Zhen.

These two make up the most interesting couple I know - One's a deep thinker but is highly capable of cracking lame jokes and one's simply adorable and says the least expected things (Zhe Zhen, of course).

When they go together....sparks-wait, no, SOFT TOYS....fly!
Okay not literally, but they do have a soft toy version of themselves - Ra Ra and ET!

I recall how I've been there to photograph every stage of their relationship - from the day they became official (at Worship Central 2009)...

With Tim Hughes

The day he proposed to her...

She thought that the ring was a bomb. Priceless.

....and soon, their wedding.

It's interesting how these two complement each other wonderfully when they're so different individually. I guess that's the beauty of love.

Zhe Zhen said, "If it's meant to be...he won't run away." Clearly Berns didn't. =)

9th - 17th October 2011

Cambodia had been on my mind since I went on my mission trip to the same place last year. I had no idea if I was able to make it this year, but I took the leap of faith and signed up for the trip even though I was in between jobs at that time.

I remember the lessons I learned from my first trip there - that love exists in a place that suffered so much over the past few decades, how it transforms people, and why we shouldn't hold back love which is priceless.

I wondered, what lessons would I learn from the second round?

I was bubbling with excitement. I felt like I had returned home.

We were at the FGA Child Care Centre at Kampong Speu for 6 days. This was the place that literally changed my perspective on life when I first visited last year.

Sokra had been on my mind ever since I said goodbye to her last year (here is a girl who knew I had to leave but told me, "Sister if you cry when you leave, I won't friend you any more."). I was happy that she was the first, along with Sarah and Ah Rong, to hug me the moment I entered the dining hall.

"Sister, do you remember me??"

Of course I do. I thought about you everyday.

It was interesting how the sunrises and sunsets were captivating here.

Top left: Sunrise at the centre, top right: Sunrise at the centre, middle: Sunset (with silhouette of a wat), bottom: Sunset in Phnom Penh

After returning to KL, I was more aware of the beautiful skies. I thought to myself, maybe the skies of Cambodia followed me home.

Even the weather had something to offer. (I don't know if it had anything to do with the "I make it rain" t-shirt that I wore...)

Rain

During this trip, I watched how my friends have their own life-changing experiences.

One of them, Raechen, learned how to loosen up when she realised she didn't have her toothbrush with her on her first night. After looking everywhere for it (and even contacting her folks back home if they knew where it had gone), she couldn't find it. Her teeth were left unbrushed for a day until she bought a toothbrush from the nearby market.

Hahaha, brushing her teeth was such a joy for her.
Quoting her, "I don't think I would have as much fun if I hadn't lost my toothbrush."

Raechen's new toothbrush and the joy of being able to brush her teeth after a day or more!

There are more stories, but I'd rather have them tell it =)

I realised that there's power in greeting in Khmer - Jeum reub seur! (Hello!) I saw dramatic change in people's expressions when I say hello to them in their language. They smile and return the greeting!

There were several other occasions (not photographed) when people were so happy to greet me back. Wow. Amazing what a simple phrase could do.

This man (above) was from the same village where we had a session with the kids there. We were in the truck that was bringing us to a church and a primary school in the village when this man was riding his motorcycle behind us. Our truck wasn't going fast and we knew he wanted to overtake us. Unfortunately the road was too narrow for him to overtake so he patiently waited behind. He said, "It's okay, I'll just drive behind you." in Khmer (as translated by Sark, one of the centre boys who came with us to be our translator).

Moments later, we arrive at a junction and he turned into what we believe was his house. He lost control of his bike and fell. We quickly asked Uncle Sonny to stop the truck and within moments, some of the guys jumped off the truck to help him.

He was happy that we helped him, even though he must have fallen off his motorbike many times before. But it helps that we showed him love anyway.

Last year, in the last few hours before heading back to Kuala Lumpur, I took this photo above. There was something about this photo...I don't even know how to describe it. It was as if I connected with this person for a brief moment and felt so many things.

I wanted another moment like that during this trip. I remember sitting in a tuk tuk in Phnom Penh and I prayed silently. I prayed that I would be able to photograph a moment that shows God's love.

I arrived home feeling a little disappointed that I couldn't get one epic shot on my last day there, but it was later on when I realised that I actually did - more than once. God's love was evident in many photos I had already taken.

So what lessons have I learned this time around?
I learned that it's time that I be bold in doing God's work and to love outwardly, because that's the simpest yet beautiful thing that anyone can do.

I'm looking forward to seeing what's in store the next round =)